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Subject:Long time..
Time:10:31 pm
Ok well, been almost a year since I made an update, so I guess I should blow the dust of this thing and let people know what's going on and see if anyone still reads it. I'm still in good ol' Midland Texas, trying desperatly to raise enough money to get out of this town, mostly to no avail. One of my better occurances was seeing the movie Serenity. If you havn't seen it I highly recommend it as well as the series it is based on: Firefly. Other then that, can't say much is happening. Things are pretty much the same, which is a little sad but at least they arn't worse.

So, after this short update I'm gonna try to post more as things happen, or if I'm just bored and want to bitch a little. So if you're still around, then you have my apologize for not having insight into the mind of Joe for a while, and if you're arn't..well I guess it doesn't matter since you won't be reading this, does it?
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Subject:Part of the deal
Time:12:59 am
As was the deal to have Barbara think up of really awesome and nice things to say about me, I have to post it in my journal!

1) JOE MUIRE! I adore you, it has been so long and I hope that everything has been going well for you... everytime I see Chinese Food I think of how kick ass chinese kitchen is and somehow I end back up at you.
2) "YellowSubmarine" I dunno why really... but the song makes me happy, and you seem beatleish lol
3) Perry Mason- cause that show was pimp as a child and I just remember you from teen court as a potentially kick ass investagting attorney... kinda like Mason!
4) staryeyed
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Current Music:The Only Living Boy In New York - Simon and Garfunkel
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Subject:Bleh
Time:02:36 am
Current Mood:depresseddepressed
There has come a point in my existance when I realized that I stopped caring about life a long time ago. I'm not sure how, and I'm not sure why, but I think my general apathy is due to the problem that I really don't care about anything. I need to do something for myself, I think. Everything I do seems to be for someone else, or because of how I want to fit other people's expectation. And the wierd and disappointing thing is that I can't. I took some time off from school, but if I don't find a job in a week my parents are going to make me leave the house. Understandable I think, but my problem is that I just don't care enough to do anything about it.

And what's even worse is that I hate myself for my inability to take charge of my life. I blow things off, and everytime I do I wonder why I did it. It's so bizarre I can't even begin to understand my own shortcomings...

So Bleh. Just bleh.
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Subject:My Playlist
Time:07:50 pm
Enjoy. (Title - Band/Artist)

Mr. Brightside - The Killers
Come On - Ben Jelen
We Will Become Silhouettes - The Shins
Caring Is Creepy - The Shins
Designs On You - Old 97's
Don't Panic - Cold Play
Dreaming of You - The Coral
New Slang - The Shins
Such Great Heights - The Postal Service
All These Things That I've Done - The Killers
Philosophy - Ben Fold's Five
Let Go - Frou Frou
Love Will Come Through - Travis
Radar Love - Golden Earing
Lust for Life - Iggy Pop
Fortunate Son - John Fogerty
Emaline - Ben Folds Five
Diner - Martin Sexton
I Want to Know - The Mavericks
Welcome to the Jungle - Guns N Roses
Change Your Mind - The Killers
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Subject:The Great American Fuckup
Time:02:26 pm
Four more years until we have the obligation to change our country. We elected someone who lies to us and decided on what can be called a whim to invade other countries. Apparently ever country deserves to be invaded by the USA and likes it so much it's our obligation to do so. That sounds very Lenin to me...

I'm not happy with Bush being reelected, not in the least. But I think true Americans can stand four more years and hopefully be able to change our nation. That sounds like Bush voters arn't true Americans, but that isn't exactly what I ment. People who voted for president did so for a number of reasons, and very few can one actually fault them for. No, my main concern is not Bush, but over a dozen states abusing the process of voting to discriminate, regulate, and socially bar thier fellow citizens. We have used God for our own personal beliefs so much that I have to wonder why he hasn't decided to destroy all of humanity. People hide behind thier religion and use it as a shield when pressed about things like homosexuality and even things that could save the lives of millions like stem cell research.

People have decided that homosexuals can't possible love one another enough to come close to anything between a man and woman, and they believe that the fabric of society will unravel so quickly that we cannot allow even the possibility of any kind of union between two homosexuals. Couple that with relgion and we've got the recipe for discrimination. While we're at it, we should just make it so gays can't vote or use the same water fountains we can.

America has taken a leap in the wrong direction, and carried out discrimination to the conclusion of writing into a constitution. It illustrates the problem with democracy: What happens if the majority is wrong? What if they are doing immoral things?

We thought that loading people on a boat and sailing them over here to do menial labor was right, didn't we? It's obviously immoral, but society aprroved it so it had to be right.

What happens in that instance? When the government won't take a stand against the discrimination of the people, what are the large minority supposed to do against that? We have succesfully elected a leader who opposes homosexuality and things like stem cell research. We have voted to use religion as an excuse to discriminate, much like the KKK does. What kind of America is that to live in? More importantly, how can we react to it?

Many people would argue that this country was founded on Christian principles, but it wasn't. This country was founded by christians, yes, but Christians who were smart enough to know that thier way wasn't the only way. Hiding behind religion is both degrading to one's self, and the country that is America.

"Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shown that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security."

That's from the Decleration Of Independence. We have an obligation to make this country something to be proud of again, to make it a place where every one can be free. Where all people, of all colors, religions, and sexual preferences can feel like humans and can live without being forced into some position by an opressive majority. It is our duty as Americans, no matter who you voted for. It is Bush's duty, it would have been Kerry's duty. It is your duty and it is my duty. We can still set ourselves back on the right course; to survive we have to.

God bless America.
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Current Music:The Killers - Mr. Brightside
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Time:08:44 am
I really hate myself. I thought I could move on, but now I don't think I can. It plagues me every moment of every day, and I can't help wondering why. I don't know what love is, but I do know that the only time I think I know it is when the person who it is directed towards is unavailable. I'd shrug it off as loving what I can't have, but in this specific instance I loved her before she got into her current situation. I just can't find anyone else that I would think could remotely come close to her because I've managed to convince myself that it is love and nothing or noone can change that. And that particular short coming is why I hate myself.

I don't think I've ever known that romantic love that most everyone longs for. I've known I wanted it from specific people, but it's never be realized. Apparently the right person is taking a long fucking time to get here, although I'm more inclinde to say that I know who is I just screwed up along the way and let them either slip through my fingers or never known they were that person to begin with.

I desperatly need something in my life. I don't know what it is, but I feel empty. I've felt empty for so long that I don't even know what it's like to be happy. Everything good is just so small that all of the tag ons make it completly moot. Interesting how that works out. I just want to feel something other than self pity so badly that it drives me to the point where I cannot function.

It gets really hard to keep going when you tell yourself everything will be alright and don't believe it.
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Time:01:06 am
ROOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAARRRR!!!!!!!!
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Time:07:54 pm
I am so fucking tired of school.
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Subject:Music
Time:02:55 am
I'm listening to The Dave Matthews Band right now, as I am going through the blank CDs in my collection and recording them to the harddrive. DMB just popped up in the stack. Anyway, that's not the point. The point is that listening to this music I havn't listened to for about 4 years seems to have the ability to send you back in time. I find myself thinking about the events that happened then that seem to correspond with the music I was listening to at the time. Funny how that works out.

Ain't nothing more profound than that.
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Subject:Return!
Time:03:50 pm
Well, after a slightly productive summer I have returned to the depressing day to day life of a college. Hooray. I really don't have much to talk about, which is pretty much my general stance in life while in school. Still, I figured I might as well give the two people who read this the knowledge that, contrary to popular belief, I am, in fact, still alive, depending of if your defination of living. So no car, few friends, much work, and no money. It's good to be back amoungst the things you know...

Ah. Austin College. It's almost good to be back.
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[icon] Sometimes I feel like stabbing people
View:Recent Entries.
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